Baseball, candy, Pop Culture

The God Squad versus the Garbage Pail Kids.

Original Publish Date March 17, 2022

Looks like Major League baseball is on again. Right now, diehard hardball fans are on their knees thanking the baseball Gods that this Billionaires versus Millionaires battle is over and the season is set to start. I usually try and write a baseball article every Spring to kinda kick the season off and get my head on straight. But this year, since baseball fans are all “prayed out”, I thought it might be appropriate to write a story with a religious tint: The San Diego Padres God Squad versus Topps Garbage Pail Kids.
The Padres became a Major League franchise in 1969, but the namesake team was in existence long before then. The Padres’ first season came in 1936 in the Pacific Coast League after Hollywood Stars owner Bill Lane opted to move his team to San Diego. Lane built a stadium on the waterfront in downtown San Diego and gave birth to a new team that would carry its moniker to the Major Leagues and into the 21st century.
The “Padres” name is a tribute to the city’s history. It was the Franciscan Friars who founded the first Spanish colony in southern California. “Padre,” of course, is Spanish for “Father” (or “Friar”). Their mascot is the “Swinging Friar,” a sandal-clad Padre swinging a bat. They were known as the perennial cellar-dwelling team that often traded away their best players for little in return. That all changed in 1985. The 1986 defending National League champion Padres, led by manager Dick Williams, were coming off the best season in franchise history. The Padres’ gregarious owner, McDonald’s magnate Ray Kroc, had died the previous year.
The Topps Trading Card Company, Inc. (founded in 1938) was best known as the leading producer of American football, baseball, basketball, ice hockey, soccer, and other sports and non-sports-themed trading cards. After being privately held for several decades, Topps offered stock to the public for the first time in 1972. The company returned to private ownership in 1984 when it was acquired in a leveraged buyout led by Forstmann, Little & Company, a private equity firm specializing in leveraged buyouts.
Although both the Padres and Topps were hopeful about the upcoming season, things were about to come to a head between the two entities. The Padres were led by a group of young idealistic pitchers whose strong Christian faith would earn them the nickname of “The God Squad.” The pitchers were Eric Show, Mark Thurmond, and Dave Dravecky and together they comprised three-fifths of the Padres’ starting rotation. Their strong religious ideology, coupled with their even stronger anti-Communist leanings, made them the darlings of organized religion, the John Birch Society, and local media.
Press conferences in the Padres clubhouse often devolved into a discourse on political conservatism and a lecture on the evils of Capitalism. The Padres pitchers were proud members of the John Birch Society, a right-wing group that had become infamous in the ’60s by warning of communist infiltration of America. By the time of its resurgence in the Padres locker room, they were viewed as a fringe group and these Padres hurlers as fringees spouting political dogma.
Once these pitchers’ quotes were published in newspaper stories and columns, they began to creep across the entire country. The reaction was electric, like the first time Colin Kaepernick took a knee on the sideline. The most vocal of the “God Squad” Padres was 28-year-old Eric Show, the team leader in victories. In 1984 Show was Birching  (the society’s word for political evangelizing)  all the way through the Padres’ run to the World Series.

San Diego Padres Eric Show,

Show, a skinny pitcher with a prominent mustache, resented the stereotype that baseball players should be unthinking robot athletes. In the Birch Society’s New American magazine, he listed his hobbies as “philosophy, history, economics, astronomy, real estate, political affairs, business management — and, of course, God.” Show was a good pitcher (he is still the Padres’ all-time wins leader with 100), known for his fastball and his slider.

28-year-old Dave Dravecky went from the team’s best middle-reliever with 9 wins in 1984 to a 13-game winner in the starting rotation in 1985. Dravecky became a born-again Christian while playing Double-A ball in Amarillo, Texas in 1981. Padres players regarded him as an ideal teammate and moral conscience of the clubhouse . One teammate described Dravecky as having angel wings. Dravecky once told a reporter: “I think if Jesus Christ were in my shoes, he’d be one of the most aggressive pitchers around.”

Mark Thurmond, 27, a second-year pitcher out of Texas A&M, was definitely the quietest of the trio. Thurmond flip-flopped with Dravecky over those two seasons, winning 14 games as a starter in 1984 then moving to middle-reliever where he won 7 games the next year. In August of 1984, Thurmond, Show, and Dravecky were guests of honor at a giant “anti-sin” rally that took aim at abortion and homosexuality in San Diego. Most members of the Padres were content to ignore their teammates’ views on religion and politics. And in a baseball desert-like San Diego, fans didn’t seem to mind as long as they could hang on to that World Series appearance from the year before.
Instead, in 1985, baseball fans and players alike found a common nuisance to rally against. For that was the year that the Topps company came out with their Garbage Pail Kids cards. Cards is a misnomer though. Garbage Pail Kids was a series of sticker trading cards originally created to parody the wildly popular Cabbage Patch Kids dolls from the same era. Each sticker card featured a Garbage Pail Kid character having some comical abnormality, deformity, and/or suffering a terrible painful fate/death with a humorous wordplay character name such as Adam Bomb or Blasted Billy. Collectors will recall the card backs that featured puzzle pieces that together form comic murals, humorous licenses, awards, and comic strips.
Garbage Pail Kids characters, with names like Luke Puke, Slobby Robbie, Oozy Susie, Fat Matt, and Messy Tessie, were the talk of the schoolyard in the mid-1980s. During those first couple of years, Topps exercised restraint by holding back a few cards deemed too offensive to distribute. One reject was of a baby in a pickle jar; another, of a kid receiving Garbage Pail Kids cards like Moses receiving the 10 Commandments, another zonk featured a little girl and her dog standing near a pile of feces, and one, this writer’s personal favorite veto, depicted Abraham Lincoln with bullet holes through his top hat and a copy of a Slaybill in his hand.
The first Garbage Pail Kids were released in June 1985 and sold for 25 cents a pack. They were sold in slick-looking displays featuring the atomic detonation of Adam Bomb’s own head. Kids were hooked immediately. With a sense of humor straight out of Mad magazine, stores couldn’t keep the cards in stock. Garbage Pail Kids came out at a time when kids were buying up disgusting toys like D. Compose, the action figure that could open its rib cage to reveal entrails, Slime, the gelatinous green goop that got into carpets and never came out, He-Man Masters of the Universe Stinkor, who carried a very unpleasant smell. No doubt about it in the mid-1980s, gross toys were becoming big business.
The series was the brainchild of Pulitzer Prize-winning New Yorker magazine cartoonist Art Spiegelman. Garbage Pail Kids cards were known variously as Bukimi Kun (Mr. Creepy) in Japan, The Garbage Gang in Australia and New Zealand, Les Crados (The Filthies) in France and Belgium, La Pandilla Basura (The Garbage Gang) in Spain, Basuritas (Trashlings) in Latin America, Gang do Lixo/Loucomania (Trash Gang/Crazymania) in Brazil, Sgorbions (Snotlings) in Italy, Havurat Ha-Zevel (The Garbage Gang) in Israel, and Die Total Kaputten Kids (The Totally Broken Kids) in Germany. The cards inspired an animated television series and a live-action movie, The Garbage Pail Kids Movie, in 1987.
The 1985 series included characters like Junkfood John, Valerie Vomit aka Barfin’ Barabra, Gory Laurie, Drillin’ Dylan the nose-picker, Stuck Chuck the Voodoo doll, Rundown Rhonda (flattened by a steam-roller), and Woody Alan a wooden doll be-scarred by saw marks, nail/screw holes and a woodpecker pecking a hole in his head. Because the characters looked like Cabbage Patch Kids, the company was sued and forced to forfeit the royalties and change the design. Garbage Pail Kids were banned in many schools; teachers cited them as class distractions. A group calling themselves Parents Against Sadistic Toys (or PAST) successfully lobbied several Toys ‘R Us locations to stop selling the cards in their stores.
Enter the San Diego Padres “God Squad.” It was about this time that Padres players Show, Dravecky, and Thurmond stopped signing baseball cards. Not all cards mind you, only those cards produced by Topps. The trio continued to sign cards from fans made by the Fleer and Donruss card companies, but inquiries by mail were sent back unsigned with an explanatory note. “Dear Collector: I am sorry but I do not autograph Topps baseball cards. The Topps company prints the Garbage Pail kids cards which I am strongly opposed to. For this reason, I do not endorse their products by autographing their baseball cards. I am sorry for the inconvenience. Sincerely, Dave Dravecky.”

Note to fans from Houston Astros Bob Knepper.

Soon other players around the league took the same posture. The San Diego Padres Dan Boone, NY Yankees Mike Armstrong, Baltimore Orioles Storm Davis, Houston Astros players Bob Knepper and Jeff Calhoun adopted the same practice. Calhoun’s note to fans was a little stronger in tone than Dravecky’s. “If you have seen these cards you know they are very graphic in depicting violence, dismemberment, and other very grotesque things. I am in utmost disagreement with this and the adverse effects they can have on children, especially in this day of declining moral values. I encourage you to join me, and an increasing number of ballplayers, in voicing your protest to the Topps company.” Calhoun ends his note with the mailing address of the Topps company.

By 1988, the handwriting was on the wall for Topps Garbage Pail Kids. That year Mexico banned all Garbage Pail Kids as part of an Export and Import Law outlawing all representations of minors “in a degrading or ridiculous manner, in attitudes of incitement to violence, self-destruction or in any other form of behavior antisocial.” After an adverse lawsuit from Original Appalachian Artworks (makers of Cabbage Patch Kids), and a movie that bombed, despite selling some 800 million cards, the fad seemed to have run its course. Topps released a total of 15 sets of Garbage Pail Kids. By the time a 16th set was nearly completed, they opted not to release it due to a lack of interest. In the ensuing years, Topps sporadically continued the production of Garbage Pail Kids in limited numbers.
After Dave Dravecky was traded to the San Francisco Giants in 1987, he resurrected the God Squad with teammates Scott Garrelts, Atlee Hammaker, and Jeff Brantley. These players eschewed the hard-partying lifestyle of many of their teammates, preferring instead to hold Bible studies in their hotel rooms while on the road. After the God Squad vacated San Diego, reporters asked future Padres Hall of fame reliever Rich Gossage for his thoughts on the issue. Goose responded, “Heck, it’s just like being a Catholic, I guess.” After Gossage was traded from the Padres, he created a controversy of a different kind aimed at the owner of his former team by saying, “Joan Kroc is poisoning the world with her cheeseburgers”.
The Padres God Squad played together for parts of two seasons before splitting for other teams. Ironically, God Squad leader Eric Show became a victim of the moral decay he so strongly railed against. After his baseball career ended in 1991, he began using meth and cocaine. In 1994, Show died in a rehab center after ingesting a speedball (a mixture of cocaine with heroin or morphine taken intravenously or by nasal insufflation). In 1988, while pitching for the Giants, Dave Dravecky was diagnosed with a cancerous tumor in his left arm. A year later, he made a dramatic comeback, only to have his humerus bone shatter in his second start; his arm was later amputated, ending his career. Mark Thurmond pitched six more seasons in the bigs before retiring to Texas to sell insurance. Nowadays, the “God Squad” and “Garbage Pail Kids” seem tame compared with our net-driven society. But back in the mid-1980s, it was the talk of the town

Dave Dravecky after the loss of his arm.
candy, Pop Culture

Bubble Yum, Spider Eggs and Leonardo DiCaprio.

leonardo-dicaprio-bubble yum spiderOriginal publish date:  September 12, 2016

I began working on this article Sunday night. It was the 15th anniversary of 9/11 and I’d been watching stories about our shared national tragedy all day long. While cloaked in that veil of sadness I realized my article deadline was already 3 days past and I couldn’t think of anything to write about. I needed a smile. So I thought I’d try and dig up something that was borderline nonsense, certainly not news, but might just make you smile.
40 years ago, Bubble Yum officially made it’s Hoosier debut. Some websites claim it came out in 1975, but 1976 is the first year I recall being able to buy it in Indianapolis, so I’m going with that. Just in case you forgot, Bubble Yum (created by LifeSavers) was the very first soft bubble gum ever created. It was an instant hit and sales quickly shot through the roof. Before 1976, bubble gum was hard and often took jaws of steel to work it into bubble-blowing shape. Before 1976, we didn’t question the laws of the gum universe. Bazooka, Wrigley’s, Fruit Stripe, Dubble Bubble, Dentyne, Chiclets, Beechies, Trident, Razzles, Juicy Fruit, Joe Blo, Topps baseball card gum; we didn’t care, we just chewed away in blissful ignorance.
What is bubble gum, how does it work and how the heck did it ever catch on? Well, the bubble part should be pretty self explanatory. The gum base is what gives it that bounce-back texture that makes it fun to chew. Gum base often contains polyethylene, a long molecule that’s also used to make plastic bottles and plastic bags. As you can imagine, each company keeps their special recipe a secret. What we do know is that all gum bases are made of three main ingredients : Resin is the main substance you chew, wax softens the gum and Elastomer adds flexibility. Elastomer is a big fancy word for “rubber”.
Don’t let those three ingredients scare you, despite what you might’ve been told growing up, if you swallow a piece of gum it’s highly unlikely to end up stuck in your stomach for seven years. Even though gum base is indigestible, it passes through the digestive system harmlessly and is eliminated from the body alongside other foods.
The best chewing gum brands infuse sweetener and flavoring into the gum base so that the flavor is released more slowly. As you chew, the sweetener and flavoring dissolve in your saliva and spreads over your tongue. Eventually most of the sweetener and flavoring disappear and the flavor fades away. Gum base does not dissolve in saliva, so you lose the flavor, but not the gum. But why do we chew gum? Bubble gum satisfies the natural human impulse to chew. Some people chew to relieve stress, others to combat bad breath or aid digestion, but most do it just because they enjoy the taste.
Northern Europeans were chewing birch bark tar 9,000 years ago, not only for enjoyment but also for medicinal purposes and to relieve toothaches. The ancient Maya chewed sap from the sapodilla tree, a substance called chicle, as a way to quench thirst or fight hunger. The Aztecs also chewed chicle but only kids and single women were allowed to chew it in public. Married women and widows could chew it privately to freshen their breath, while men could chew it in secret to clean their teeth. In North America, the Indians chewed spruce tree resin and passed the habit along to the European settlers who followed.
Bubble Yum represented a real breakthrough, a gum that was ready for bubble blowing almost immediately after you popped it in your mouth. Each package contained five individually wrapped rectangular pieces of gum, each piece contains about 25 calories. At first, Bubble Yum was available in both the original variety and a luscious grape version. Both versions were a huge success right out of the gate, and naturally, they spawned more and more flavors over the years: Orange, Wild Cherry, Spearmint, Wild Strawberry, Sour Apple Berry, Rockin’ Rasberry, Yellin’ Melons, Bananaberry Split, Wet N’ Wild Watermelon, Hawaiian Fruit Punch, Cotton Candy, Checker Mint, Sour Cherry and Chocolate among others.
300 million packs were sold in its first 15 months on the market, so much that production couldn’t keep up with demand. Bubble Yum became an instant sensation. The standard pre-mastication routine among early Bubble Yum users was to squish a block of Bubble Yum between your fingers before chewing. Hey, in pre-microchip days, we had to take our fun wherever we could find it. “Why is it so chewy?” was the question of the day during that Bicentennial year. It didn’t take long for kids to invent a nefarious answer.
In the Spring of 1977, rumors began to spread that the gum’s soft, chewable secret was that the gum was made out of spider eggs. Soon, the urban legend was the viral topic in classrooms and playgrounds nationwide.

A less well-circulated rumor dating from the same period claimed that Bubble Yum also caused cancer. Tall tales about a girl waking up with webs all over her face or nine youngsters dying after swallowing the gum spread quickly among kids and were naturally taken as gospel. The fact that there were little granules of sugar that you could feel with your tongue didn’t help quell the rumors.
To combat the panic and halt the dive in Bubble Yum sales, the Life Savers Company embarked on a $100,000 advertising campaign of full-page rebuttal ads printed in prominent U.S. newspapers from coast-to-coast. Each ad began with the headline “Somebody is Telling Very Bad Lies About a Very Good Product.” Life Savers’ president William Mack Morris told People Magazine that, “Fighting the rumor was like punching air.”
Within 10 days of that first public whisper, company surveys showed that “well over half” of the children in the New York area had heard the rumor. It spread like wildfire from bus stop to lunchroom among schoolkids of all ages. Of course it wasn’t true. So despite quick efforts by the folks at Life Savers to dispel the myth, the story still took awhile to die. After all, it made for great sandlot conversation guaranteed to make any girl’s pigtails curl. Eventually, the story faded away and sales again began to soar. Bubble Yum sales soon surpassed the venerated Life Savers candy to become the most popular bubble gum brand on the market.
Although still a closely guarded corporate secret, speculation persists that Bubble Yum’s secret softening ingredient is lanolin, a waxy substance derived from sheep wool. While not necessarily dangerous to your health, chewing on lanolin does not exactly sound appetizing. Bubble Yum chose Floyd D. Duck, an anthropomorphic punk-style duck character, as their official mascot, which somehow doesn’t help subdue that unsavory image. Nabisco bought Life Savers in 1981, and The Hershey Company acquired the brand in 2000.
Bubble Yum quickly spawned other versions of soft bubble gum. By 1977, Bubblicious, made by Cadbury, hit store shelves, followed by Hubba Bubba in 1979, and Big League Chew in 1980. The era of soft bubble gum had arrived and we owe it all to Bubble Yum’s successful war against the imaginary reproductive habits of spiders through colorful urban legends. Today, soft & chewy gum is sold in a variety of shapes and flavors. Although, sadly, Willy Wonka’s three-course dinner chewing gum, said to taste like tomato soup, roast beef and blueberry pie, is unlikely to become a reality in our lifetime. Bubble Yum is not likely to disappear from store shelves anytime soon.
The United States is among the top three countries with the highest rates of chewing gum consumption worldwide. In the US, 59 percent of people chew gum, surpassed only by Iran (82 percent) and Saudi Arabia (79 percent). A primary reason why the Middle East has more gum chewers than the US is because chewing gum is often given out by merchants in place of small change. Seems like Bubble Yum’s appeal is not limited to our shores alone. Perhaps that is why an original first-generation unopened pack of Strawberry Stripe Bubble Yum from 1976 sold for $ 482 on eBay a few years ago. So check those telephone drawers, tackle boxes and catch-all bins, your pack-rat tendencies might actually pay off for a change.
One last tidbit from the way-back machine before I close. How many of you remember the Hollywood heart throb who started his career as a TV commercial pitchman for Bubble Yum? Today he’s a Hollywood A-lister and recent Oscar winner, but in 1988 Leonardo DiCaprio was a fresh-faced 14-year-old teenager pitchin’ Bubble Yum to the masses. Leo, then sporting a thick mop of blonde hair, wears a tie and checkered shirt as he blows pink bubbles for the camera. Little Leo dances to a giant Boom Box and touts “Big Mouth Bustin’ Bubble Yum” to a generation of teeny-boppers on the small screen. Those teeny-boppers undoubtedly have teeny-boppers of their own now. Google it and you’ll see, it’s worth a giggle.